I’ve always felt like God put me on this earth to help heal and care for his people. I am a nurturer by nature, and everything I’ve done thus far in my life involves helping others to make their life better. My career choice to be a nurse is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I go to work knowing that I am making a difference, no matter how small, in the lives of my patients and families. Everyday before work I end my meditation and prayer session by asking God to work through me to touch the lives of my patients.
On my floor, we see a range of chronic illnesses so a lot of our patients come back multiple times a year for hospitalization. We end up really bonding with these patients and their families. One of my favorite patients is a 17 year old girl with Crohn’s disease, causing at times very painful digestive tract inflammation. When she comes to the hospital she is there for at least a few weeks. She has been in and out since I started working, and every time she comes she asks if I’m there that day. I’ve made such a special bond with her. When I come on and I see she’s admitted I immediately go to her room, say hi to her (and her mom if she’s there) and tell her I’ll be back. Around 11 pm when all my initial shift tasks are done, I go in her room and spend up to an hour just talking to her. I know all about her friends, her drama with her boyfriend, her plans for college, her relationships with her parents, and most importantly how she copes with her disease process.
Her flare ups with this disease happen at any time, causing her to miss school and many important events. Last school year, she ended up having to stop traditional schooling and finish the school year online because of surgeries and health complications. I saw her miss homecoming, prom, and other social events any teenage girl would be looking forward to. This month I was so happy to see her be able to celebrate her birthday outside of the hospital like she planned to do, but two days later she was back. She wanted me to work the night before my birthday so badly, just so she could come out of her room at midnight and be the first person to wish me a Happy Birthday, and she did!
This week has been a troubling week for her. She’s getting several pain medications around the clock, hooked up to IV nutrition, and has a tube in her nose that leads to her stomach, constantly in pain. One night I was about to walk into her room and her nurse said, she’s not really talking tonight. Of course, she talked to me but only for a few minutes, I could tell she was really down, and I hate seeing her like that. I thought all night about what I could possibly do to cheer her up, that wasn’t crossing the professional- personal boundary. Before I went to work the next night, I bought her a card and wrote a message in it. I saw her a few times in passing that night but I was super busy that hadn’t been by her room to officially say hi. Around 10:30 I finally had a chance to sit down (this was my third night in a row and I was TIRED!!), but instead I went to grab her card and go to her room. Before I even had a chance to get to my bag her nurse came to me and said “_____ has summoned you!”. It’s like she knew I was coming!
As soon as I walked into her room she looked at me and said “Rayah….” and started crying. My heart dropped. I hate seeing her cry! I sat next to her for 30 minutes giving her a hug and listening to her frustration and sadness about being in the hospital, about how she’s still not better after 3 years, about how strong she feels like she has to be for her family. It hurt me so much to see her hurt, I had tears running down my face! At the end of our conversation she thanked me for being there and listening to her. When I finally gave her her card, she started crying again, she said really needed that.
Sometimes when I go to work I wonder if I am actually making a difference in my patients’ lives. Situations like this reinforce the belief that I am here to touch at least that one person’s life. If I can make a patient smile for that one moment, I’m satisfied. I go to work ready to care for and serve my patients. Everyday before work I affirm “I am a great nurse and I continue to care for my patients in the best way I can.” I do it, and I do it selflessly, even on those days when I’m tired, stressed out, depressed and anxious. I do it because I love seeing the smiles on my kiddos faces. I love being able to soothe a crying baby or toddler so that mom who had been here for a week straight can sleep. I love being in the position to make a rough stay in the hospital a little bit easier. If that means I’m listening to that mom rant for 10 minutes about her frustrations when I have 50 million other things to do, then so be it. If that means I’m doing laundry for the mom I accidently sprayed poop on, then I’m doing it! I love my career and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. When I become a Nurse Practitioner in 2 years, I will still make it my mission to care for my patients in a similar manner as I did as a bedside nurse.
-Ray
Learning as I Grow 
Thank you so much for writing this, Rayah. My daughter was so touched by this that she texted me a short while ago stating “now I have lash glue in my eyes from crying.” LOL (You know how my child is.) She was so excited to tell me about the card that you bought her. It meant the world to her. She loves you to pieces and you are certainly one of her favorite nurses.She views you as a big sister.
You have been an amazing role model to her and although hospital stays aren’t what we ever hope for, it is because of caring nurses like you, who go above and beyond your duties, that make these stays more tolerable and even enjoyable. Your work isn’t just a job to you. You pour your heart and soul into caring for your patients and trust me, it does not go unnoticed. I don’t think that she would have been able to cope with many things that she endured this past year if it weren’t for you. As a mother, I try me very best but there are times when she needed reassurance from her medical team and you have always been there.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for EVERYTHING that you have done for her. You are a beautiful and amazing person from the inside out.
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