I started feeling randomly anxious earlier this week. Last night, I had a panic attack. I woke up this morning to a feeling of sadness. I don’t want to get out of the bed, even though I was so excited yesterday to be able to wake up and have a full day to clean and study. It is cold outside. The seasons have officially changes. It is here. Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Those around me know that I struggle with depression and anxiety on a regular basis, especially when a trigger is presenting itself. But every fall/winter, when its starts to get colder, I always find myself slipping a little into a darker mood. I first realized that I was affected by the seasons during college when my therapist noticed I always seemed to come more frequently in a depressed mood without an apparent cause during the winter. It was then that I realized I had to be more aware of my moods during this time.
So here I am. Feeling a little down and off. Life stressors are present and my sleep is as irregular as can be with my current schedule. So what is a girl to do? Well first, this morning I took some time to really think about what is going on in my life right now and how it could be possibly affecting me. Is there something that I can change? Eh, not really. So then I moved on to thinking about today and the one thing I can do today to elevate my mood… get out of the house! So my plan for today is to first get out of the bed, at least start the things on my to do list, and then get out of the house!!! Whether I can manage to drag my cousin or a friend along or if it is just going to be one of those solo days, I am going to get out of the house!
This is me showing up for myself today, and taking control of my mental health.
-Ray
Learning as I Grow 